Rey and Kylo Ren: Fighting their way to partnership

Fight harder, fight better, if you want to wind up on the same side

At first glance, Rey and Kylo Ren are the Itchy and Scratchy of Star Wars: they fight, they fight, they fight they fight they fight.

Right?

Wrong. Unlike that cat and mouse duo, Rey and Kylo Ren wound up on the same side. (belated spoiler alert, d’oh!)

Moreover, when you really get into the sequel trilogies it becomes obvious to us that it’s always been obvious to them that they would wind up on the same side. How is it that two opposing forces are able to come together to become a united front when so many innate differences exist among the characters’ goals and aspirations throughout their respective journeys?

Alternatives to fighting, or alternative fighting?

In Star Wars and Conflict Resolution Episode I, There Are Alternatives To Fighting, Ty and Elizabeth Spradely’s chapter Rey & Kylo Ren: Constructive Conflict Escalation force-pushes the two principal characters of the sequel trilogy into the center of our conflict resolution galaxy and provides the best possible explanation for their relationship. Along the way, it offers the rest of us a path for fighting better. Yup, you heard that right.

Throughout this chapter, the authors demonstrate, in detail, how the two characters’ head-to-head confrontations, each one sharper than the last, are painted in a unique way that illustrates the characters’ individual and shared growth as dynamic characters and as navigators of conflict. Conflict escalation - one of the most fraught areas of conflict that conflict resolution training tends to shy away from and Jedi training cautions to avoid - is key, then, to personal and joint development.

Forget “I will not fight you Father”: Conflict escalation for conflict resolution

How can parties to conflict escalate it constructively, such that it helps to form a working relationship that would otherwise be non-cooperative or downright adversarial? Examining key behaviors displayed by both Rey and Ren, the authors show how their actions set the stage for a constructive relationship to develop even as the conflicts between the two escalate to a level of hostility we often see reserved for a young Darth Vader and [insert name of anyone in Star Wars lore].

After working through this chapter, the authors pose a challenge to their readers to embark on some self-reflection and evaluation of their own. Where in our own lives do we see a parallel connection to the ideas, examples of conflicts, and opportunities for constructive behaviors discussed here in this chapter? How can we as a society grow and learn from our intergalactic, star-crossed Romeo and Juliet? Search inward and with an open mind, and an answer you shall find.

— Written by Sam Haimowitz, SW&CR Padawan and newly graduated JD from the University of Oregon School of Law